‘I just want to raise good children’
Caroline shouted, ‘Away! Do away with this attitude!. I can’t raise a daughter with no sense of cultural values or respect for long standing traditions. You have to pay attention to this, Jane!. In the old times, you are not born well to give your parents food without getting on your knees. It is a sign of respect and reverence. I remember vividly doing these things to my parents and you have to start showing me respect in this house. I wonder who made civilization the replacement of culture and tradition. I won’t let civilization teach you disrespect’.
Culture influences parental practice and values. Most parents learn parenting methods from their own parents and they pass these practices from one generation to the next meanwhile both desirable and undesirable values are perpetuated. They become reproduced in children raised by such practices. As I’ve said earlier(parenthood), parenting changes per time due to advancement in the society we live in. When parents move with their children to a new environment with a new culture, they are likely to experience challenges and confusion about what is right and wrong for their children. The values placed on children, the rules and teachings vary greatly. This can get the child confused and frustrated.
What are values?
Value is the degree of importance attached to something then we can say values are beliefs that a person esteems. Many parents highly esteem culture in their belief system. When our forefathers had the center stage, children were taught respect in fear. They had things done based on certain standards(long standing traditions). When children fail to meet standards of such culture,they were regarded as ‘shameful children’. The old would say such children are ‘ void of values’. Usually, parents do not want to fail to show the community that they have raised their children well so sometimes they forcefully teach their children to abide by traditions. There is nothing wrong with teaching a child ‘right values’ and educating a child about culture but culture does not determine how good children are. Culture are commandments of men like us. They are ordinances men wrote themselves so children cannot be raised basically on those values alone because ordinances of men fail.
Matthew 15:2, 9 (KJV) Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread.
But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
Culture teaches respect but we cannot categorically say that is all what respect is. When ordinances of men contradicts that of God, it is not fit for child raising. Before we start teaching our children cultural values, let us examine them closely with the word of God. Goodness is only found in God. If you want to raise good children, lead them to Christ.
(For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
Traditions won’t do justice to teaching children goodness but will rather get them confused and rebellious.Children learn values from their parents as they grow so it is detrimental to have wrong values as parents. During late childhood and early adolescence, children are characterized by reasoning based on values of the parents and convention of the society. Do well to have right values as parents or you’ll birth wrong values in your children and blame them for it.
Our next post will be focused on set values parents must possess in order to teach their children rightly. Don’t miss out on this!