Prematurity; what do I want?

“What do I want?” It is a question many people ask themselves often, even though there generally is no clear answer. After all, everyone wants something different in life because interests differ between individuals. Some people still ask themselves this question in their old age feeling unsatisfied with how they have lived their lives. Some will agree with me that ‘no time is too late to get things done’ however the earlier the better. It is also possible that your life does not turn out to be what you expected if you are not deliberate about walking in line of what you want.

Prematurity can be defined as an individual occurring before a state of readiness or maturity has arrived.

A lot of people get stuck in this phase thinking ‘when time is right, I’ll get ready or mature.’ Some other people continue to wait till they are ready without working towards growth. Throughout our childhood and early adult years, we’re conditioned to think we need to be “ready” to take the next big step in life. Our teachers won’t let us get too far ahead of where they think we should be in terms of knowledge. Our parents try to protect us from ideas and truths they think we’re not ready to learn about. We, ourselves, hold back when faced with major decisions that we don’t believe we’re ready to make. We’re constantly told we’ll understand certain things, or be able to do certain things, when we’re older—as if the passage of time alone is enough to teach us everything we need to know about life. This way of thinking has a hugely negative impact on the way we live our lives. For one thing, some of us feel we are ready to move forward in life, but are constantly being held back by societal norms. Additionally, there are those of us who never take the first step toward growth because, despite being told by society we are ready to do so, we don’t believe we truly we are. I’m not talking about getting older or taller. I’m talking about our mental growth. Our minds thrive on engagement and stimulation. Not just in familiar tasks, but in learning and challenging ourselves.

The faculty of a person that enables them to be conscious and aware of themselves, and others is known as mind. You need to train your mind to derive maximum benefit out of it by producing useful thoughts and this is done by constantly renewing the “mind.” In as much as engaging in a life dedicated to constantly learning can improve our relationships, business, and our overall competencies, some people still learn to just know. It’s okay to not feel like you’re ready to make big moves in life. We all feel that way at times. But sitting around waiting to “be ready” won’t get you anywhere. You need to actively go out and get the experience that will prepare you for the next step. If mindset shift is a way to start, you can make that happen by renewing your mind till it grasps what it has to know. Maybe you aren’t ready to take a giant leap into the next chapter of your life, but that doesn’t mean you should stop taking baby steps in the right direction altogether. Since there are innumerable ways things could go wrong when stepping out of our comfort zones, it’s possible to create an inexhaustible list of excuses to stay stuck , and seemingly safe. But we must realize that most, if not all, of the excuses we make are temporary roadblocks, not concrete walls. Even if it takes a little extra effort, there are ways around them. If you don’t know what you want to do with your life, chances are it’s not because you don’t want to do anything. (It’s more likely that you want to do everything !) Unfortunately, too many of us allow our indecisiveness to manifest in stagnation, and we end up letting opportunities to try new and exciting things slip away from us. Yes, we should be wary of the possibility that things won’t always go swimmingly in life. But if we let the fear of being unprepared for such contingencies stop us from taking steps forward, we’ll never get anywhere at all. Keep your mind engaged. Learn something new, and/or improve your knowledge on the major issues in life, hobby or skill that you’re already familiar with.

One of the greatest things we can do to induce growth is to have clarity about what we want.

This will steer us back to the question I asked earlier, what do you want?

Babyhood attitudes that sets us back.

  • Ignorance: Ignorance is simply a lack of knowledge and not the inability to accumulate knowledge. Ignorance is fairly simple to overcome on its own. It seems to me that ignorance as the sole factor in the equation would only slightly decrease the rate of growth and development in any situation or anybody. If you’re still willfully ignorance, it could be the death of you. Ignorance has robbed a lot of people of growth and their inheritance. Those who want to live in ignorance are the ones who are running away from responsibilities. When you’re ignorant, you get easily brainwashed because you don’t know the truth and the reality.

Ephesians 4:14
That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive.

  • Unsteadiness: If you are the type that is not held firmly in position or inconstant in purpose(double minded) then you are unsteady. Unsteadiness creates stress, confusion and at the long run such person might get lost. If you don’t know where you are heading my brothers and sisters, then don’t expect to get there on time. You have to get a grip of yourself. Personal stability is a lifestyle characterized by appropriate and well-thought-out decisions, with a consistent behavior. It’s often overlooked. Yet it’s a key component in well-being and growth.

James 1:8
A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

  • Unrestrainedness: Control is the hallmark of life. That’s what would get us out of trouble and confusion. Life is self-control, and self-control is freedom. To control yourself mean that you know who you are deep inside and how much you are worth. Losing control in life will lead you to start allowing everything because everything feels good( you don’t simply know). You could lose direction of where you are heading unless a person calls you to order just like a train without head.

Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

  • Garrulousness: I would say children who are indiscreet end up looking silly, because they keep at it, and they won’t stop until someone or something stops them. They simply do not know when it is too much. I will tell you that if you observe carefully, you will definitely know when you are speaking too much. There are certain cues to look out for when talking to others. For instance, if the person you’re talking to is showing a lack of curiosity in what you are saying, if they appear to be bored, or if they constantly look at the clock to see what time it is, then that’s a likely indication that you should stop talking at that moment. Most people do not tell you directly to be quiet as that is considered rude behaviour however, others will straight up tell you to shut up. Either way, at that period of time, one should stop speaking as any further conversation, no matter how good or useful you think that may be, will just irritate the person you are talking to. There is an old song that goes: “If you don’t talk too much, you won’t get into trouble and if you talk too much, your trouble will be double!”
  • Overreliance: Overdependent people have difficulty making everyday decisions without advice and reassurance. The key here is everyday decisions. If you’re going to going to make a major life change, of course you would talk over your decision and get opinions from family and friends. But a overdependent personality faces everyday decisions from a position of hesitation and fear. The difficulty is the terror of being wrong. Asking for help from another person in a major area of life is one thing. Expecting that other person to take over responsibility for you is another. People with very dependent personalities give up control of major areas of life to another person out of fear. We don’t want to have to rely on anyone to have everything. I think it’s great that we learn to stand on our own two feet. When you’re a child, that’s what you start out literally doing – trying to get your footing. As you get older, you’re trying to find your footing in other areas, like friendships, education, dressing yourself. As we progress, we should be able to take care of the things that others used to do for us.

We tend to measure our worth by our major accomplishments: graduations, jobs, marriages… the list goes on. But we often fail to realize that none of these things happen overnight. It’s through the little steps we take leading up to these major events that prepare us to take the giant leaps that define who we are. Don’t let the tides of life lead you anywhere. Take charge.

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